In just a few days, it will be Christmas. Everywhere, lights are twinkling, shop windows are shining and calendars are full. For many, this is a time of warmth and togetherness. But if you’re missing someone, the holiday season can feel like it hits a little too hard.
That empty seat at the table. That moment when you want to share something… and suddenly can’t.
You might recognize the feeling: as if the world is merrily moving on, while you’re on pause. That’s not unusual. Grieving during the holidays asks something extra from your heart.
It’s okay to feel grief
Grief doesn’t follow a calendar. It doesn’t distinguish between ordinary days and holidays. Especially when everything ‘should be merry’, the absence of a loved one can feel sharper. And that’s okay. You don’t have to force yourself to be cheerful or pretend everything is fine. Feeling grief doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’ve loved.
Acknowledge that this year is different. Perhaps next year too. And that’s allright.
Go at your own pace
The holidays take a lot from your mind, heart and body. Be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to be everywhere, manage everything or keep everyone happy. Sometimes self-care is as simple as taking a walk, being alone for a while, going home early or allowing yourself a quiet moment.
Setting boundaries isn’t weakness, it’s an act of care.
Give your loss a place
You don’t have to push away your grief to get through the holidays. Sometimes it helps to make it visible. Lighting a candle, saying a name, sharing a memory or hanging a photo in the tree. Small rituals can bring comfort and say: you belong here, even now.
Do what feels right: together or alone
Maybe you want the hustle and bustle, maybe you don’t. Both choices are valid. Share with those around you what you need, or what you can’t handle. You don’t have to carry this alone. Sometimes just one person who really listens is enough.
And when the light returns…
There may be moments when you laugh or feel joy, perhaps unexpectedly. That doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten your loved one. Grief and joy can coexist. They don’t cancel each other out. You may enjoy the moment without guilt. It isn’t a betrayal of your loss, it’s a sign that your life is slowly moving forward.
The holidays after a loss are rarely easy. But they don’t have to be perfect. Perhaps this year they are quieter, gentler, different. And maybe that is exactly enough.
Be true to yourself. Carry what feels right, let go of what is too heavy. Grief is allowed. And so is hope. Sometimes small, sometimes cautious, but always real.
Sources: Dela & TIME – Photo: Pixabay
